10 Ways to Grow Your Childs Resilience
We tend to think of childhood as a carefree time, but being young doesn’t protect kids from the emotional hurts, problems, and traumas they face. Children may have to deal with problems like getting used to a new classroom or schooling online, being picked on by other kids, or even problems at home. When you add in the uncertainty that comes with growing up in a complicated world, childhood isn’t always a carefree time. The skills of resilience give people the ability to do well in spite of these problems.
Good news, though: resilience can be learned!
Building resilience, which is the ability to deal well with problems, trauma, tragedies, threats, or even big sources of stress, can help our kids deal with stress, anxiety, and uncertainty. But being resilient doesn’t mean that kids won’t ever have problems or feel sad. Emotional pain, sadness, and worry are common after a major loss or trauma, or when we hear about the loss or trauma of someone else.
1. Make Connections
Teach your child how important it is to interact with and get to know their peers, including how to have empathy and listen to others. Find ways to help kids connect with their peers by suggesting that they talk to them in person or by phone, video chat, or text. Building a strong family network is also important. Getting to know other people gives you social support and makes you stronger.
2. Help Your Child Help Others
It is crucial to understand your child’s learning styles. This will help you better comprehend your child’s decisions and motivations. Perhaps your child struggles with self-assurance and feels defeated. By knowing your child, you can better understand their needs.
3. Stick to a Routine
Children, especially younger ones who need structure in their lives, can feel better when they stick to a routine. Work with your child to make a schedule and point out when it’s time for school work and when it’s time to play. Especially when things are hard or changing, you might need to be flexible with some of your habits. At the same time, it’s important to stick to plans and be consistent.
4. Breaks are Good!
Even though some anxiety can push us to do good things, we need to validate all of our feelings. Teach your child to pay attention to something they can control or do something about. Help them by asking them to think about how likely the worst-case scenario is and what they would say to a friend who had the same worries. Be aware of what your child sees or hears that could be scary, whether it’s in the news, online, or in conversations they overhear. Even though schools are being held accountable for how well they do or are required to teach certain things, give kids time to be creative during the school day.
5. It’s All About Self-Care
Teach your child how important it is to take care of themselves. This might give you more time to eat well, exercise, and get enough rest. Make sure your child has time to enjoy themselves and do things they like. Taking care of themselves and even having fun will help kids keep their balance and deal better with stress.
6. Goals… Goals… Baby Steps!
Teach your child to set goals that are reasonable and help them reach them step by step. Setting goals will help children focus on a specific task and give them the strength to keep going when things get hard. For younger kids, break down big school assignments into small, doable goals. For older kids, celebrate small wins along the way to bigger goals.
7. Grow a Positive Self Image
Help your child remember how they got through hard times in the past, and explain to them that these experiences give them the strength to handle hard times in the future. Help your child learn to have faith in themselves to figure out how to solve problems and make good choices. At school, help kids see how what they do helps the whole class.
8. An Outlook of Optimisim
Even if your child is going through something very painful, help them see the bigger picture and keep a long-term view. Even if your child is too young to think about the future on their own, you can help them see that there is a future beyond the present and that it can be good. A positive and hopeful attitude can help kids see the good things in life and keep going even when things are hard. Use history in the classroom to show that bad things happen, but life goes on, and even the worst things are only bad for a short time.
9. Encourage Self Discovery
During hard times, kids often learn the most about who they are. Help your child look at how what they are going through can teach them “what are they made of.” At school, you might want to lead conversations about what each student has learned from a hard situation.
10. Embrace Change
When things change a lot, it can be scary for kids and teens. Help your child understand that change is a normal part of life and that old goals can be replaced with new ones. It’s important to look at what’s going well and come up with a plan for what’s not. In school, talk about how students have changed as they’ve moved up through the grades and how those changes have affected them.
Build Resilience in Elementary Aged Children
As kids in elementary school become more independent, they may start to make new friends and try out new things. As they learn more about the world outside their homes, they look to their teachers and parents to help them feel safe and make sense of it all.
Make sure your child has a safe place, whether it’s at home or at school (ideally, both would feel safe).
Talk with your kids. When they ask you questions, give them honest, reassuring answers that let them know you’re taking steps to keep them safe and are there to look after them. When they tell you about their worries and fears, listen to them and let them know you are there for them.
When something scary is going on outside the home, limit how much news your kids watch or listen to. There is always a chance that they will misunderstand something they see or hear on the news. You don’t have to keep your kids in the dark about what’s going on in the world, but you also don’t have to tell them scary stories all the time. Check to see if they understand what they’ve seen or heard.
Know that extra stressors can make everyday stresses worse. Your kids might usually be able to handle things like failing a test or being teased, but when they’re stressed, they might react with anger or bad behavior. Assure them that you only want the best for them and that you are there for them.
Build Resilience in Middle School Aged Children
Even if there aren’t any big problems, middle school can be a hard time for many kids because they have to work harder in school and try to avoid new social problems. In addition to their parents, they look to teachers and friends to make them feel safe.
Help your child show empathy and keep things in perspective. If your child is in one of the changing social groups that form in middle school, help them understand that other kids may be feeling just as lonely and confused, and help them see beyond the current situation.
Talk to your child about how you feel when you’re under a lot of stress. Your kids may be old enough to be interested in hearing about what you think and feel and how you deal with it. Share how the ways you deal with stress help you, but also look for ways to help your child.
On Saturday, January 14th at 10am EST, we are holding a Resilience Building Workshop to teach your kids:
💪 How to Deal with Setbacks
💪 Welcome Mistakes as Opportunities to Grow
💪 The Importance of Overcoming Obstacles
There are just 50 Spots Available for this seminar. Let’s start this new year off right! Register now! The zoom link will be sent to you after you register.
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